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Isn't it beautiful. It falls so perfectly down to the ground. Lightly covering everything, tenatively as if it is afraid of becoming one with its friends. I said tenatively, yet not really afraid, more of just unsure.
The evergreens have received their first white kiss and seem to sigh as if they have waited for this all year. No shuddering, no sighing, just utter relaxation, as if saying, "now we can finally do what God made us to do."
Philip saw the trees covered from his bedroom window. He immediately bounced out of bed running to the kitchen to retreive the stool. Bringing it to his bedroom he placed it on the floor saying,"there." Upon peering outside his only response was, "WOOOOW!" Stephen asked him what it was and his response was, "white."
Before he left Stephen took Lily out. This is her first time seeing snow. It was so funny to watch her outside. She kept eating it. Stephen told me that he had to almost drag her back to her spot to make her go to the bathroom.
It is just funny how snow affects all of us. For me it makes me want to tear downa ll my fall decorations, bring in all the Christmas decorations, play Christmas music, and do LOTS of baking. It makes me long for my childhood, when my family was still a family. Making candy with my grandma and cookies with my mom and aunts. It is anticipation of things to come. Mostly it is the time when I had an excuse to stay inside and do what I loved most... READ.
Glory to God in the highest, for the beauty of changing seasons. I really don't think I "could" ever live anywhere that didn't have four season.
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There is something nice about being secure in who you are and your position in life. The security is amazing.
For the longest time I was content with who I was. I knew I had made a lot of HUGE changes in myself and I was content. I was proud of what I had overcome, as the road was so hard to get there.
Apparently God isn't done with me though. For the past few months I have felt like I am being "attacked" from all sides. Having my flaws thrown up in my face. Being reminded that being stagnate isn't acceptable. Having guilt for things I know I should be doing better. Feeling very alone and like a complete failure. Being kept humble almost to the point of... well never mind.
This has become so overwhelming to me. There are days, that because of my back, I struggle just to get out of bed, much less LIVE. There are days that I spend the whole day doing nothing, but disciplining my children. There are days that by the end of it I am so emotionally drained that I don't think I can go on. These are my normal days. These are just regular days.
For the last few months though, I have been told that I can handle more. God has been telling me it is time for change. I knew this was coming when we made the decision to move to PA. I saw it is all the faces of the congregation, and yet I willingly made the move. I walked right into the fire. Putting myself in HIS hands, without fear.
Why is it now that everything is happening, that I knew would happen, am I so afraid? Why is it that I just want to crawl under a rock and hide? Why can't I seem to face the challenges on my feet knowing that GOD is with me, instead of shaking in the dark?
When I begin to feel like things are falling apart around me, I pull into myself. I pull away from everyone. I stop talking to people, afraid that they will see the FEAR in me. This time it is much worse than it has ever been before. I haven't answered my phone. I don't want to leave the house. I just want to stay in my little cave, where I am safe.
Yet, in the cave, I have been facing some of my greatest challenges. I have seen myself for who I am, and know that I am still not good enough. I am reminded every time my children need corrected, that these flaws are mine to fix as well. I am being told that my example is not what it should be. So I fall down on my knees asking God to show me the way, because I know I can't do this alone.
If you have read this far, then I thank you for listening to me whine. I will write more as these thought pour through my head. |
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I used to love the color green, now I am not so sure.
Green now means, runny noses, vomitting, headaches, frequent trips to the bathroom, dizzy spells, no desire to eat, and finally always tired.
That has what has been plaguing our family for the past two weeks. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am also not interested in chicken noodle soup for a while either.
We all got extra sleep today. Every one took a nap, which is odd. We went to bed early last night thinking we could make it to services today, and there was just no way.
I know I am going to bed late, but I have slept 16 of the past 24 hours. I took some night time medicine and will read until I pass out.
Stay healthy! |
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Audrey has been studying Kit Kitteredge An American Girl, from 1934. Kit loves to write newpapers, books, letters, you name it she just loves to write.
One of the things she is writing is Aunt Millie's Waste Not Want Not Almanac. Since the eceonomy is acting weird, and who knows what will happen under the rule of Barak Obama, we have decided that we want to write our own book.
I would love to have other contribute to our Almanac as well. You will receive credit for your information. It would be like a cook book, but with great ideas to repurpose. We would type it up and the contributers would receive a free copy via email, to use as they wish.
It isn't our plan to publish and sell this book, but to gather information on how to "save money". Most of these things will require a lot of "elbow grease". (Audrey loves that term, it makes her giggle.)
I know several of you have shared some of your ideas. Like Wendi and her Hamburger Helper mixes. Or LoriB and her double cooking. If recipes are required for cooking, please have measurements. I can't function without them. I don't guess well. :)
As for uses for this book, there are some wonderful ones. A college graduate could use this to help face the world. A bride could use these great ideas to help manage her budget. A new mom would love ideas on how to manage her time, money and be a great mom. The ideas are limitless, but we have to work together to do it.
If you would like to participate, you can post here. When you are ready to send your ideas please send them to hatcher.samantha@gmail.com
Thank you for participating.
Samantha and Audrey |
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For some reason for the past week or so, my family has had headaches that we can't seem to get rid of. We spend most of our day drugged up on something. This makes is so we don't want to get out of bed.
Stephen has still been going to work, but comes home exhausted. We have been going to bed early. The kids are asleep by 9pm and Stephen and I shortly follow. We then have trouble dragging ourselves out of bed to be human.
When nap time comes I fall asleep with the boys for a few hours, leaving Jackson and Audrey to do quiet activities. This really isn't a good thing, but my head hurts so bad that I have trouble putting a sentence together. (I am ok now because I slept in some and the drugs are working.)
I am hoping that once the weather settles we will start feeling better.
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